I worked a shift in emergency department last night.
Yesterday a 24 year old brought in by police because she told her ex she wished to kill her self. She had attempted over dose before. She said she does not wish to die. She said she did not buy enough Tylenol to overdose. She was right. She said she has a fear of abandonment and was trying to get her ex back. She had been through DBT and mindfulness training. I asked her what has she learned that she can use to help herself. She told me she can meditate.
I told her to stand and let me sit in her chair (I was tired from running around anyways)
I then asked her to pretend to teach me how to meditate. She chuckled and then laughed. I saw a huge smile on her face as she began guiding me in meditation. I just closed my eyes and had a little rest while she experienced a moment of freedom. Her preoccupation created by empathy displaced by her empathy.
I told her she was good at it. We had a little chat about her experience in the following perspectives:
1. her own neurodiversity as being highly empathetic.
2. that she is different because everyone is different.
3. the object of attention dictates the moment by moment experience
4. the purpose of meditation is to increase her ability to choose the object of attention.
5. equanimity and acceptance.
I sent her home.
Then I was asked to see a 25 year old that was agitated and aggressive having had her opioid overdose reversed with naloxone. She said she wanted to leave. I asked her what is she going to do about her addiction. She said she wants to get out of here and go get her hamburger at McDonalds (she has a coupon) and then go home. She said she won’t have money to.. till Friday. I asked her what is her specialness. She then for the first time looked at me and said that she is good to others. I asked her if that means she feels other’s pain; and that she escapes her pain by using substances. She then started to tear up. I told her she is stuck but it does not have to be so.
I share the following perspectives with her.
2. Ability to choose the object of attention can be increased through meditation.
3. Object of her attention dictates her experiences... suffering or otherwise.
4. Anapana meditation by Goenka.
5. Vipassana retreat at Egbert Ontario.
She continue to cry and told me that she will study it and has nothing to lose. I sent her home.
I email my blog to every patient I chat with and encourage them to reach out to me.
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