Memory of past need may be regret or disguised as pride.
Imagined future need may be fear or disguised as hope.
Present need is real.
The Maslow Hierarchy perhaps can be applied to regrets and fears as well as needs.
In autopilot, my brain mingles this matrix of regrets, fear and needs and reacts sub-optimally to situations.
In “awareness”, I see things as they really are, let go of regrets and fears and address only the needs.
In autopilot, there are three level of sufferings:
1. Real needs are unmet while regrets and fear are blocked or escaped from using substitutes or quick fixes. These addictions or behaviour of insatiable craving can be outwardly apparent as in case of overeating or substance abuse or not quite as outwardly apparent in case of perfectionism, workaholism, self-righteousness or being self-absorbed. I think there are many more examples of subtle addictions.
2. Needs unmet and behaviour of using substitutes leads to more regrets (shame) and fear (panic) which propels the infinite loop of addiction.
3. Opportunities to enjoy the vividness of each moments are forever lost.
1. regrets (shame) are in the past, unchangeable, belongs forever in my memory, informative but does not define me any more than the volume of horror story book sitting on my bookshelf.
2. Fears (panic) are imagined, seems real and becomes intolerable when I pay attention to it and vanishes when I simply redirect attention to the present moment of my breath. In Harry Potter, Voldemort’s power vanished when Harry accepted and leaned into his paralytic fear.
3. I vividly see things as they really are and responds to the opportunities presented by each moment and meet real needs and experience a life of unbounded, untethered, ungrounded and unimaginable beauty.
To an observer, “awake-ness” looks like:
To Jon Kabat-Zinn,
To Stephen Covey,
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Habit 3: Put First Things First
(Habits 4, 5, and 6 then address interdependence:)
Habit 4: Think Win/Win
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Habit 6: Synergize