My son asked me how do I know I am OK?
This is my answer:
“Thanks for asking for my perspectives. It is just one perspective.
At least for now, the way I understand it is that being OK is a given. For example, if I get hit by a car and die in the next moment; this moment is the last moment for me. So existence of the next moment for me is an assumption. So in any given moment, I can only truly be as OK as I already am. For example, If I get diagnosed with cancer, many things I considered to be terribly not OK will suddenly have less or no relevance.
While knowing I am OK can be an intellectuals exercise; feeling I am OK is more of a moment by moment experience.
So to know when I feel OK, I need to know when I don’t feel OK.
To not feel OK, simply try the following:
Hold my breath
Don’t drink water
Don’t eat the essential nutrients
Focus on pride or shame based on the past
Focus on hope or fear of future
In each case I will soon feel discomfort or suffering due to needs (real or imagined) unmet.
What I do next determine if I am OK or not OK.
I can get what I need and feel OK or get a substitute which leads to unhelpful behaviours; repeating these unhelpful behaviours can lead to addiction to the substitute.
I can let go of an imagined need and be OK or get a substitute which leads to unhelpful behaviours which can lead addiction to the substitute. There are only substitutes for a imagined need.
I also know things are never quite what they seem to be; what things seem to me is a conclusion based on my limited experience. There are many more perspective only visible to me if I remain curious and open to others perspectives. Thanks for being open to mine.”
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